I have been struggling in the past couple of months to make work that I like. I struggled with my subject matter;and struggling with the materials that I’m using. This is the first time this has happened to me within my academic career; previously I would make something. Although I didn’t like it, it showed me something that the piece was missing and I could use this to push myself through it.
But these last couple of months have not been an exciting challenge. But more like I’m hitting a brick wall. My failed drawings and sculptures were accumulating around me crushing and suffocating me; and I didn’t know how to pull myself out.
This has constantly been on my mind in recent months, making think that I’m not good enough, maybe I’m not as talented as I thought I was, maybe I had somehow convinced myself and everyone around me that I was allowed the privilege of being an artist. This was obviously not a good head space to be in when trying to fight the “blank canvas”. But a good thing began to arise from this, I began talking to more creators whether they were writers, photographers, other artists about this problem of a “blank canvas” and the comforting thing is that this happens to EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. and even thought this did not initially help me, it did help me clear some head roam and allow me to forget the previous mistakes.
How I did this? I cleared my studio space; took everything off the walls tidied and clean I packed everything I had made this year into boxes. Then I forgot the subject matter of my work for a day and I allowed myself to play with the materials and see what happened. Since I did this I have made over 10 sculptures and over 30 drawings within the past 2 weeks. I now currently (fingers crossed) have a better understanding of my work, my process and a stronger grasp on my subject matter.
Let’s hope that this continues into the summer.
Click here to see the drawings and sculptures that were mentioned in this post